Shelby Devlin, sex and intimacy coach
San Francisco, CA
Shelby is a certified sex and intimacy coach, trained in the Somatica method. She is also a certified massage therapist and received her training from the San Francisco School of Massage and Bodywork.
After licensure, she continued her education to become an Associate practitioner of the Ortho-binomy Method. this modality allows her to integrate trauma-release bodywork, and emotional maping into her coaching practice.
Shelby also worked as a sex educator at a fetish boutique, given talks on female sexuality, published erotica, taught classes on BDSM and participated in non-normative relationship models.
Hello Shelby, tell us about yourself
I am a certified Sex & Intimacy Coach, trained in the Somatic Method. I facilitate a safe environment for individuals and couples to deepen their knowledge of their own desires, nurture their capacity for connection, and build practical relational skills. Within my practice, I provide comprehensive sexual education ranging from anatomy and body mechanics, to fantasy exploration and vulnerable communication.
As a graduate student, I am interested in studying the role desire plays in contemporary sex-lives and relationships. Specifically, I am curious how emotional and psychological desires and/or needs motivate an individual to pursue sexual activity and intimate relationships. Post-graduation, I plan on continuing to create original research on desire within a PhD program.
Why did you choose to be a sex therapist?
Sexuality is a source of pain, shame, fear, and anger for many people. Often, when people hold that much tension inside themselves, they either intentionally or inadvertently share that with the people around them. This may come in the form of judgment, shaming, hostility, and violence. My purpose as a sex therapist is to disrupt this cycle by helping people accept themselves, and discover pleasure and enjoyment in their sexual selves.
What are the most memorable moments of your work experience?
In the film, the Wizard of Oz, the first 15mins of the film are in black and white. Once Dorothy lands in Oz, the first moment she opens the door and steps into the new world - the screen bursts into riotous color. The most memorable moments are when I guide a client into a new experience and I witness their world bursting into color.
Do you have any advice to us women?
If something feels good, keep doing it. If something does not feel good, stop and ask yourself what could be better. You do not have to do anything that does not feel good physically, or emotionally.
Shelby writes and facilitates talkshop on xxTALK.
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