Niav Connor, a tantric sex, love and relationship coach
San Francisco, CA
Niav is a VITA-certified sex, love and relationship coach througyhLayla Martin of the Tantric Institute of Integrated Sexuality, with a specialization in Tantric Sex, Relationship Transformation and Men's Sexuality.
She is also a certified Erotic Blueprint Coach through Jaiya.
Niav holds a MA of Psychology with a specialization in Somatic (Body-centered) psychology, and graduated cum laude from Mount Holyoke College with a BA in Anthropology and Pre-Medicine.
Hello Niav, tell us about yourself
Hi, I'm Niav, a Tantric Sex, Love & Relationship Coach working with Men, Women & Couples. I bring a depth and breadth of knowledge to my coaching including almost three decades of personal and intellectual study of the human body through yoga, massage and craniosacral therapy, almost two decades of studying human psychology, and fifteen years of Tantric exploration and study.
I have over 1000 hours of training as a Yoga Teacher and over 10,000 hours of teaching experience. I’ve studied with some of the most renowned yoga teachers in the world including Ana Forest (200 RYT), Cyndi Lee, Sianna Sherman, Shiva Rae and Janet Stone (500 RYT).
I have over 300 hours of training as a Massage Therapist and Craniosacral Therapist, and over 10,000 hours of hands on experience working with clients. I have a 6 month Certificate in Classical Shaiva Tantra with Christopher Hareesh Wallace, author of Tantra Illuminated.
Beyond my passion for understanding human sexuality and intimacy, I love being physically active, including hiking, yoga, biking, spending time with my husband and cooking healthy gourmet meals!
Why did you choose to be a sex therapist?
I know what it’s like to struggle around sexuality and intimate relationships. For much of my life, sex, love, and relationship have been a source of great pain, sadness, and disempowerment. Many times I’ve felt like a failure in these areas or like I’m broken beyond repair. I’ve been suicidal. I’ve struggled with eating disorders and self-hatred.
I come from a family history of abuse, alcoholism, and dysfunction. I was sexually abused by my father at a very young age. I understand how it is to feel intense shame and profound confusion around sexuality, intimacy, and love.
Yoga and meditation saved me (along with 12 step programs and therapy). I found both in my early teens. It was through yoga that I began to respect and love my body. It was through meditation that I began to cultivate a quiet self-reflective practice. In fact, I know now that yoga was my earliest initiation into Tantra. It was through practicing yoga that I first learned the Tantric concept that my body is a sacred holy temple that houses my spirit and that the divine (god/goddess) resides within me.
It wasn’t until my early twenties that I found Tantra. I instantly felt a resonance. Here was a way to connect my spirituality and my sexuality! God and sex could go together. Just this concept alone was profoundly healing. I dove in, reading every book on Tantra and Taoism I could get my hands on, and have been studying and practicing ever since.
Although I know what it’s like to feel ashamed, disconnected and disempowered about my body and my sexuality, I can honestly tell you that I’ve made it to the other side. Through decades of Tantric study and practice, attachment and trauma healing, a MA in Somatic Psychotherapy, and a 1000 hour intensive training in Sex, Love and Relationship Coaching, I’ve transformed my relationship to my body, my sexuality and my capacity for intimacy.
My life isn’t perfect, but more often than not I feel deep love for my body, I am open to pleasure in all it’s many forms, and I feel more alive than ever!
What are the most memorable moments of your work experience?
I have many memorable moments working with clients, but probably my most memorable and joyful experience was working with a female psychotherapist who had been in sex therapy for years because she was unable to orgasm with a partner, and after only four sessions with me she had her first orgasm with a partner (something that eluded her her entire life)! I was overjoyed!
Do you have any advice to us women?
You can absolutely heal your sexuality. You are not broken. You are not hopeless. You are not irrevocably damaged. Like exercise, nutrition and well being, sexual health and intimacy, is something we need to work on over the course of our lifetime. Having a thriving sex life and a passionate relationship requires an investment of time and energy, as well as a willingness to grow, change, and evolve. I wholeheartedly believe that with the right tools and a masterful guide, you can transform any part of your life!
Niav writes and facilitates talkshop on xxTALK.
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